Monday, April 30, 2012

Classics of Crap Volume 34: Silent Night Deadly Night 2

Hey guys, and thanks for returning for another round of me completely wasting my life watching awful, awful movies. This week's Classic of Crap is the sequel to one of the most infamous slasher films of the 80's, Silent Night Deadly Night. Released in 1984, the original Silent Night was the subject of much controversy at the time, as it depicted a disturbed young man killing folks wearing a Santa outfit. A lot of tongue clucking puritans complained, and the notoriety caused the movie to be somewhat of a cult hit. Flash forward a few years later, and some genius decided the time was right to make a sequel. Trouble is, they only had a tiny budget. Answer? Fill the film up with no less than 45 minutes of flashbacks recycling material shot for the first movie. How cheap and lazy can you get? When the film STILL came up short, they even padded the end credits. Shot in 10 days, SNDN2 is a laugh riot. Many of the scenes routinely pop up on YouTube, including the most famous bit, the "Garbage Day" clip. But trust me, this is totally not the only thing this movie has going for it. It is filled to the brim with hilarious acting and kill scenes. The lead acts with his eyebrows, and it's almost hypnotic to see them bouncing across his face like hairy jumping beans. Oh man, this movie is so bad it's good. It's kind of obscure, but I highly recommend grabbing some friends and some beer, and cracking up at this mess.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

NEW 30 Day Drawing Challenge Day 8-11

Hey guys, sorry I've been a little slow in posting these. Been doing a bunch of other freelance work, and although I do in fact draw one of these a day, I had to wait until I can color them all in a bunch. Hopefully I can get on a more normal schedule soon. Ok, so the top pic is "Last request if the world was ending". I figure my first request is to see all the people and places I love. My LAST request, after everyone is dead and the world is a smoking pile of ash, is probably just to be left alone. Next Pic is my "Spirit Animal", which I guess is a baby polar bear for no other reason than I wanted to draw a polar bear. After that we have "Home Town Memory". For this I drew a pic of a time where my parents got me and my sister a kiddie pool, which we really wanted. Trouble is, it looked a lot bigger on the advertisement. Lastly, the worst pic of the bunch, "Amusement Park". Gotta be honest, I was in a real rush, and just kinda copped out on this one. It's the moose from the end of National Lampoon's Vacation. Durp. Anyway, thanks for clicking, and I'll see you back here in a few days!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

NEW 30 Day Drawing Challenge Day 6-7

Here are some more pics for our 30 Day Drawing Challenge. First is "Favorite Drink". I didn't choose my favorite drink, but rather the favorite drink of a certain YouTube sensation. Google "Sunny D and Rum" if you don't get the reference. For "Favorite Bird", I chose a sparrow. So, I drew Jack Sparrow. :P

Sunday, April 22, 2012

NEW 30 Day Drawing Challenge Day 5

My favorite movie if you haven't already guessed, is Empire Strikes Back. I @#%)#%^ LOVE Empire so much, I wish I could marry it.

Classics of Crap Volume 33: The Avengers (1998)

To coincide with next week's release of the movie The Avengers, what better way to celebrate by digging up the last theatrical Avengers movie! No, this isn't about Marvel superheroes. It's about British spies John Steed and Emma Peel and their battle against tyrannical douchebag August De Wynter and his plan to conquer the world with weather. (Yes, that old chestnut.)

Oh man, this movie is such crap. It would be utterly forgettable had it not featured some of the most bizarre scenes ever in movie history. De Wynter (get it?? GET IT?? He controls weather!! Har har) has a group of henchmen, and to protect their identities he dresses them up in giant stuffed bear costumes. WHAT? WHY!? Then to make matters worse, he assassinates them in the most hilarious way possible. Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman(who should have known better) are the two heroes, and they play everything in this remote, detached way that indicates that they're just waiting for their paychecks to clear. Either way, the on screen result is nothing less than a disaster. And don't even get me started on the missle firing bees. Yes, I said bees. Should you check this movie out? Probably not, it's a tough slog. Check out the highlights on YouTube, then go watch dirt grow underneath your fingernails. I guarantee it will be much more stimulating.

Life Drawing-60's hippie

Here are some sketches I made did for a life drawing session at the Drawing Club. Was having an 'off' day, but I thought I'd post them anyway for you to see. The poses were 7-10 minutes and the medium is pencil and brush pen, with the purple shading added later in Photoshop.

Friday, April 20, 2012

NEW 30 Day Drawing challenge Day 3-4

Hey guys, and welcome back to the NEW 30 day drawing challenge. Day 3 was your First Mode of Transportation, so I drew my first trike. I remember riding this bad boy across the neighborhood pretending I was being chased by Biker Scouts from Return of the Jedi. True Story. Day 4 is a Secret About Yourself. I like Abba. I see you judging me. Shut up.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

NEW 30 Day Drawing challenge Day 1-2

Hey guys and welcome back to another special 30 Day drawing challenge! Last months was so successful we got a lot of comments from people that wanted to participate! So, here are is the list as well as my first two drawings. If you want to join, go here: and start posting anytime! You don't have to be Picasso, just be creative! :D
Just to clarify, my sport is "Limbless wrestling".

Monday, April 16, 2012

Classics of Crap Volume 32: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

Have you ever thought to yourself, "Gee, I have a really stupid idea for a movie! It would be about man eating tomatoes! We'll just throw a bunch of tomatoes at people and it would be hilarious!" You might have had a thought like this flit through your mind, but being the sane and responsible person you are, you probably just decided to leave it at that and go about your day. Well, the people who made Attack of the Killer Tomatoes didn't just leave it there. No, they actually went ahead and made this stupid movie idea. And it was every bit as crappy and useless as you can imagine a movie about killer tomatoes could be. Still, you gotta give the filmmakers credit. It was a pretty novel idea, and practically hand made for stoned college kids of the 70's. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is an obscure movie in which tomatoes have decided to turn on mankind. They start out small, but as they grow in power, they enlarge their size so pretty soon they are the size of monster truck wheels. They chase people around until they are beaten by the undeniable power of "Puberty Love". If you don't know what that is, you'll have to watch the movie. There was a sequel called Return of the Killer Tomatoes, which starred an then unknown George Clooney. (I wonder if he still has that movie on his resume´?) Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is a milestone in cult movie history. It's got a few good chuckles, but definitely earns it's title as a Classic of Crap.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

30 Day Drawing Challenge Days 28-30

Huzzah! I finished my 30 day drawing challenge. The pics here are, from top to bottom, the finish line piece, "anything you want", which I drew a judge for my friend Joseph, and lastly, a pic of a place you'd like to visit. I would love to take a trip to North California and see Pixar studios, where some of my favorite animated films are made. Of course, I would like to do more than just VISIT, but ahem...anyway. Thank you to everyone who took time to click and look at my blog over the course of this month, I really appreciated all your great comments! This drawing challenge was so much fun, my friends and I are about to start another one! So, get ready, for 30 day drawing challenge part 2: Electric Boogaloo! If you want details of how YOU can join our challenge (we will be posting on a facebook page), please contact me and I will get you the info. Take care guys! :D

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Life Drawing Poses

Drawing pictures of crappy movies isn't the only artistic thing I do. Lately, I have been attending a lot of life drawing sessions at art galleries and clubs. Here are a bunch of sketches I did yesterday at Gallery GoDo in Los Angeles. Lots of great faces and bodies to draw! Each character is 7-20 min. Red pencil and brush pen, with browns added in Photoshop.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Classics of Crap Volume 31: Kazaam

Ok, this movie is painful. Seriously painful. Whenever I do a Classic of Crap, I always re-watch the movie so I can look at it again with fresh eyes, but this one almost broke me. Kazaam is quite possibly one of the most unwatchable 'kid's' movies I've ever seen. Granted, I haven't seen all the bargain basement trash, like Cop Dog, or Land Before Time 38: The Search For a New Franchise, but this one is a new low. I remember in the mid 90's movie studios put the biggest basketball stars into movies. Dennis Rodman and Michael Jordan tried their hand at acting in future CC contenders, Double Team and Space Jam, respectively. Shaq, already shown to be a natural presence onscreen in Blue Chips, was apparently given a dumptruck full of money to appear as a rappin' genie in Kazaam. Words can not describe how awful this movie is to watch. The tag line on the DVD cover pretty much sums it up: "He's a rappin' genie-with-an-attitude, and he's ready for slam-dunk fun!" Get it? Cause Shaq (the actor) plays basketball. GET IT??? Oy. Where do I begin with this crap? Annoying as balls kid releases genie Kazaam from his prison in, get ready, a BOOMBOX, whereupon he delights (torments) us with an awful rap song. I don't remember much after that, since the Clorox bleach I poured in my eyes pretty much caused me to miss most of the movie. Basically, wishes are granted, candy bars rain from the sky, and I waste 2 hours of precious, precious life I will never get back. F this movie.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

30 Day Drawing Challenge Days 24-27

Hey guys, and thanks for coming back for another round of sketches! In order, the themes are "Something you hate", for which I drew the Star Wars prequels. "A couple", "Someone you love"(my lovely girlfriend, Maria), and "Scenery".

Can Can Dancer life drawings

Here are some 3-10 minute sketches from last Thursday's sketch session in Glendale. Not crazy about any of these, but I thought I'd post them anyway.

Monday, April 2, 2012

30 Day Drawing Challenge Days 21-23

Hey guys, thanks for coming back to check out some new drawing challenge doodles. These three images represent "Something you you want", "Something you miss", and "Something you need". For "Something You want", it would probably be to ride a pet Xenomorph while wearing a Batman costume and brandishing a lighsaber. (Double bladed, of course). Why? Because, why not??
For "Something you miss", it would probably have to be low gas prices. Holy cow, is it getting nuts out there.
And lastly, for "Something you need", it would have to be a nice, slow backrub by Natalie Portman dressed in her arena outfit in Attack of the Clones. Boy, you guys sure are getting a disturbing look inside my nerdy mind, lol. Anyway, thanks for stopping by my blog, and as always, I'd love to hear your comments!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Classics of Crap Volume 30: Citizen Kane

Hi guys, and welcome back to another edition of Classics of Crap. Today's crap movie is the utterly overrated and overpraised Citizen Kane. Honestly, I have no idea why this movie is considered a great film. It's in black and white, the dialogue makes no sense, and it's all about some fat rich guy. Who cares! The protagonist has no character arc, other than he gets mad, breaks things and pushes everyone around. Hooray. Also, he misses his sled. Are you serious, Hollywood? This is such a load of bollocks.

Where do I begin with this movie? It's utter crap from the first frame. I was nodding asleep by the 10 minute mark. The plot of Zardoz makes more sense than Citizen Kane. Don't get me started on the awful cinematography. How can we tell what's going on if it's not in color? Anyway, you probably haven't seen this movie, but if you are stuck in some dreary college film studies course, they may try to force you to watch it. I recommend stabbing yourself in the eye with the nearest sharp object. This is the worst film ever made, and trying to watch it will just drive you to suicide.

Also, April Fools.

Life Drawing @ the Drawing Club

Here are some life drawings of a model dressed as Michael Jackson at this week's Drawing Club in LA. The first page is 15 minute poses, and the second were 5-7. For info on this public drawing club please go here: