Monday, April 30, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Oh man, this movie is such crap. It would be utterly forgettable had it not featured some of the most bizarre scenes ever in movie history. De Wynter (get it?? GET IT?? He controls weather!! Har har) has a group of henchmen, and to protect their identities he dresses them up in giant stuffed bear costumes. WHAT? WHY!? Then to make matters worse, he assassinates them in the most hilarious way possible. Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman(who should have known better) are the two heroes, and they play everything in this remote, detached way that indicates that they're just waiting for their paychecks to clear. Either way, the on screen result is nothing less than a disaster. And don't even get me started on the missle firing bees. Yes, I said bees. Should you check this movie out? Probably not, it's a tough slog. Check out the highlights on YouTube, then go watch dirt grow underneath your fingernails. I guarantee it will be much more stimulating.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Hey guys, and welcome back to the NEW 30 day drawing challenge. Day 3 was your First Mode of Transportation, so I drew my first trike. I remember riding this bad boy across the neighborhood pretending I was being chased by Biker Scouts from Return of the Jedi. True Story. Day 4 is a Secret About Yourself. I like Abba. I see you judging me. Shut up.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Hey guys and welcome back to another special 30 Day drawing challenge! Last months was so successful we got a lot of comments from people that wanted to participate! So, here are is the list as well as my first two drawings. If you want to join, go here: http://www.facebook.com/30daydrawingchallenge and start posting anytime! You don't have to be Picasso, just be creative! :D
Just to clarify, my sport is "Limbless wrestling".
Monday, April 16, 2012
Have you ever thought to yourself, "Gee, I have a really stupid idea for a movie! It would be about man eating tomatoes! We'll just throw a bunch of tomatoes at people and it would be hilarious!" You might have had a thought like this flit through your mind, but being the sane and responsible person you are, you probably just decided to leave it at that and go about your day. Well, the people who made Attack of the Killer Tomatoes didn't just leave it there. No, they actually went ahead and made this stupid movie idea. And it was every bit as crappy and useless as you can imagine a movie about killer tomatoes could be. Still, you gotta give the filmmakers credit. It was a pretty novel idea, and practically hand made for stoned college kids of the 70's. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is an obscure movie in which tomatoes have decided to turn on mankind. They start out small, but as they grow in power, they enlarge their size so pretty soon they are the size of monster truck wheels. They chase people around until they are beaten by the undeniable power of "Puberty Love". If you don't know what that is, you'll have to watch the movie. There was a sequel called Return of the Killer Tomatoes, which starred an then unknown George Clooney. (I wonder if he still has that movie on his resume´?) Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is a milestone in cult movie history. It's got a few good chuckles, but definitely earns it's title as a Classic of Crap.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Huzzah! I finished my 30 day drawing challenge. The pics here are, from top to bottom, the finish line piece, "anything you want", which I drew a judge for my friend Joseph, and lastly, a pic of a place you'd like to visit. I would love to take a trip to North California and see Pixar studios, where some of my favorite animated films are made. Of course, I would like to do more than just VISIT, but ahem...anyway. Thank you to everyone who took time to click and look at my blog over the course of this month, I really appreciated all your great comments! This drawing challenge was so much fun, my friends and I are about to start another one! So, get ready, for 30 day drawing challenge part 2: Electric Boogaloo! If you want details of how YOU can join our challenge (we will be posting on a facebook page), please contact me and I will get you the info. Take care guys! :D
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Drawing pictures of crappy movies isn't the only artistic thing I do. Lately, I have been attending a lot of life drawing sessions at art galleries and clubs. Here are a bunch of sketches I did yesterday at Gallery GoDo in Los Angeles. Lots of great faces and bodies to draw! Each character is 7-20 min. Red pencil and brush pen, with browns added in Photoshop.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Ok, this movie is painful. Seriously painful. Whenever I do a Classic of Crap, I always re-watch the movie so I can look at it again with fresh eyes, but this one almost broke me. Kazaam is quite possibly one of the most unwatchable 'kid's' movies I've ever seen. Granted, I haven't seen all the bargain basement trash, like Cop Dog, or Land Before Time 38: The Search For a New Franchise, but this one is a new low. I remember in the mid 90's movie studios put the biggest basketball stars into movies. Dennis Rodman and Michael Jordan tried their hand at acting in future CC contenders, Double Team and Space Jam, respectively. Shaq, already shown to be a natural presence onscreen in Blue Chips, was apparently given a dumptruck full of money to appear as a rappin' genie in Kazaam. Words can not describe how awful this movie is to watch. The tag line on the DVD cover pretty much sums it up: "He's a rappin' genie-with-an-attitude, and he's ready for slam-dunk fun!" Get it? Cause Shaq (the actor) plays basketball. GET IT??? Oy. Where do I begin with this crap? Annoying as balls kid releases genie Kazaam from his prison in, get ready, a BOOMBOX, whereupon he delights (torments) us with an awful rap song. I don't remember much after that, since the Clorox bleach I poured in my eyes pretty much caused me to miss most of the movie. Basically, wishes are granted, candy bars rain from the sky, and I waste 2 hours of precious, precious life I will never get back. F this movie.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Hey guys, and thanks for coming back for another round of sketches! In order, the themes are "Something you hate", for which I drew the Star Wars prequels. "A couple", "Someone you love"(my lovely girlfriend, Maria), and "Scenery".
Monday, April 2, 2012
Hey guys, thanks for coming back to check out some new drawing challenge doodles. These three images represent "Something you you want", "Something you miss", and "Something you need". For "Something You want", it would probably be to ride a pet Xenomorph while wearing a Batman costume and brandishing a lighsaber. (Double bladed, of course). Why? Because, why not??
For "Something you miss", it would probably have to be low gas prices. Holy cow, is it getting nuts out there.
And lastly, for "Something you need", it would have to be a nice, slow backrub by Natalie Portman dressed in her arena outfit in Attack of the Clones. Boy, you guys sure are getting a disturbing look inside my nerdy mind, lol. Anyway, thanks for stopping by my blog, and as always, I'd love to hear your comments!
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Hi guys, and welcome back to another edition of Classics of Crap. Today's crap movie is the utterly overrated and overpraised Citizen Kane. Honestly, I have no idea why this movie is considered a great film. It's in black and white, the dialogue makes no sense, and it's all about some fat rich guy. Who cares! The protagonist has no character arc, other than he gets mad, breaks things and pushes everyone around. Hooray. Also, he misses his sled. Are you serious, Hollywood? This is such a load of bollocks.
Where do I begin with this movie? It's utter crap from the first frame. I was nodding asleep by the 10 minute mark. The plot of Zardoz makes more sense than Citizen Kane. Don't get me started on the awful cinematography. How can we tell what's going on if it's not in color? Anyway, you probably haven't seen this movie, but if you are stuck in some dreary college film studies course, they may try to force you to watch it. I recommend stabbing yourself in the eye with the nearest sharp object. This is the worst film ever made, and trying to watch it will just drive you to suicide.
Also, April Fools.
Here are some life drawings of a model dressed as Michael Jackson at this week's Drawing Club in LA. The first page is 15 minute poses, and the second were 5-7. For info on this public drawing club please go here: http://www.thedrawingclub.com/