Sunday, April 22, 2012
Classics of Crap Volume 33: The Avengers (1998)
Oh man, this movie is such crap. It would be utterly forgettable had it not featured some of the most bizarre scenes ever in movie history. De Wynter (get it?? GET IT?? He controls weather!! Har har) has a group of henchmen, and to protect their identities he dresses them up in giant stuffed bear costumes. WHAT? WHY!? Then to make matters worse, he assassinates them in the most hilarious way possible. Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman(who should have known better) are the two heroes, and they play everything in this remote, detached way that indicates that they're just waiting for their paychecks to clear. Either way, the on screen result is nothing less than a disaster. And don't even get me started on the missle firing bees. Yes, I said bees. Should you check this movie out? Probably not, it's a tough slog. Check out the highlights on YouTube, then go watch dirt grow underneath your fingernails. I guarantee it will be much more stimulating.